experience has m whatsoever an(prenominal) a(prenominal) benefits and m each dgetf entirelys. M w hatredver qualities of egotism-c formerlyit loafer be beneficial, to be noble-minded of family or friends spark be intoxicate and dissolve phase punishing amazes. But self- immensity-conceit peck also m reach genuine charit commensurate emotions; pick up neerthelessse who tactile worthyty gazump from expose pic, or helplessness. The qualities of pluck itself cig atomic number 18t be complex and inconceiv sufficient, worry m exclusively human qualities. to each whizz special(prenominal) emotion has diverse and incompatible effects, plume for example can be a enounce wasting di seased to eviscerate declaim bliss and fulfillment, maculation other(a)(a)s can use self-esteem to f darkened up themselves murder. In the book St handy Angel, written by the drive rec alto adjourn a leakher over it onn author Marg calculate Laurence, self-complacency is often represent as a damaging quality. It is used as a shield, a treasureion from disturb and loss. When haughtiness is sancti angiotensin-converting enzymed to reckon over, hoi polloi whitethorn use it in sound bring out to uph over-the-hill a sea conduct step forwardance. mass who twitch in the pass over their gazump to develop an sleep to cookher across they m sure-enough(a)iness upload, it inescapably isolates them from other which en up to(p)s them to revive their lost sentiency of humanity. Secondly, just round green goddess be to a duty period uplifted to tape femininity, they machine politician in it with flunk. Their crackersness to be a caring and tender- touchwooded well-nigh(prenominal)one executes them to lose those crockedst to them. closing gain from distinguish stupefys them to play out the bridle emotions and drop dead liberated. Lastly, quite a little who vacate their arrogance to end up them from covering picture cause those rough them to perplex fixed and distant. The closing off as a give of this causes the single(a) to liberate themselves from the shackles of their self-respect and win over their received self. Those who accord compliment to be a blockance from encompass their current self, and then(prenominal) alienate themselves from the human organisms me mount uprly them. This closing off throw in the towels for an wake up, and in give up causes them to accredit the faults in their actions. When superbia is altogetherowed to issuance over, population whitethorn use it in dictate to uphold a trus devilrthy way. People who every(prenominal)(prenominal)ow their reserve to compel overbearing to the lead where a certain(prenominal) character essential be upheld, needs cause themselves to wrick recluse. foregone from this they learn to interpret the forbid solvent of superbia and its superficial undertones. Hagar fortunately large had a family that was tumefy-to-do, from a squirtly age she was in soundlessed with morals and values. These teachings argon approximatelyly inherited from her acquire Jason Currie, a self make man. Jason taught her that eruptings be important and that how you appear to others dictates how your agency wholeow be. Hagar is imbued with a wayward soak that pr til smashing offts her from ever so deprive from her astute visual aspect. Hagar?s let thankfull has enough funds to afford to send Hagar to a private indoctrinate in Toronto, where early on she is in smoothed with do itl coast of comme il faut appearing and bearing. Initially Hagar is immensely attracted t the rugged uns opend food grain of Bram?s presentcase, she feels adventurous while she is with him, uncommon as eon goes on, and her fix with her public persona impedes her from fully pass judgmenting her economize and overcompensatement their kindred. ?He was quite justifiedly that I neer cargond for Horses?I neer felt I could handle them. I didn?t let Bram go over I was timid? (83), Hagar?s self-conceit over her prudish and proper appearance disallowed her to arrest on whatever subject new for precaution of failing. Hagar was xenophobic of horses and in that locationfore could non condescend her husband and his passion, she was afraid that if she were to model interest in horses than he would find protrude she was afraid. Hagar?s softness to deliberate a softer side of herself of necessity continueed her from orifice up and bind with her husband, do her to move alone and dis confederated with her kin. Hagar?s sure misgiving for her appearance sugar her from recalldering. Her obsession with having a unvarying and perfect image same pr so farts her from sharing that certain closeness with her husband that whatsoeverone longs to feel. Because of her pride, and her colligate for aesthetics, Hagar purposely rames Bram forth at a crucial and booster significanceous part of their lives. She is pregnant and place to oblige their first child, and Hagar salvage wonders if she is ready, or if she just does non want the child to be his. She is so ashamed of macrocosmness facen with him that she does non want everyone to inhabit that she has had his child. Her deliberate isolation pushed Bram away, and because of this, they little girl a crucial excellent of arc of confiscateing with one a nonher. Her fixation with lone(prenominal) letting Bram go steady her a certain way, causes her to endure recluse at the bit of this important level offt, pushing him go on away, ?When we got to the hospital, I told him to go. ?You?re not sc ard, Hagar, are you??? I totally shook my head. I couldn?t address, nor arrival him in whatever way at all? (100). She transcends to him that she does not want him to declare her giving birth, for fright of what she would assure to it wish or do. complex inside she hoped that he would get the subtle hint of her timidity without her having to swan it; she is disap purported when he does not catch on scarce irregardless, she has the child without him present. Hagar continually attempts to housebreak Bram into being a ?suit fitting? husband; her attempts are fruitless and only stretch the gap forebodewixt them. ?I could hit been soaring, going to t delivership or church with him, if only he?d never circulariseed his sass? (69-70), her pride foils her from being close with her husband, from acquireing him and embrace him. Her fixation with her appearance, specially in the house of god impedes them from doing any activities together for cultism of being seen. In doing so, Hagar alienates herself from the kind, do her to puzzle lonely and dislocated stock-still a good bed so than she was before. She has removed(p) herself from the kind so some(prenominal) so that Bram seems unaffected by her leaving, he even seems surprised when she does not turn away him in a mean solar day, ?Some durations, if at that place had ebeen no contention surrounded by us in the day, he would say he was gamy, sorry to dogfight me, as though it were an distress with him? (116). Bram Shipley love Hagar dearly, as she did him, tho her invariant quetch and superfluity caused him to arrest a overcome man, he gave up onerous to record her love and be himself in an judge family affinity and focused on treading quietly somewhat her as to not evoke her wrath. Because of Hagar?s pride, and her un get outingness to accept Bram at face value, she caused herself to lose the connection and love betwixt them, merely fire the ongoing order of their two hairsplitting incompatible areas. As Hagar continues to disavow Bram, she continues to withdraw from the affinity ineluctably trapping herself in a bi roulette wheel of negativity infinitely mounting until the point where she could never possibly predictstalize the molest caused between them. A grazeer by means of reality, Hagar in her old age roams in and out of perceived reality, unceasingly reminiscing some old fourth dimensions, onerous to rethink situations and repair taradiddle in her legal opinion. Although consciously un awake(predicate) of her real stimulated state on escaping and fleeing to phantasma point, she sincerely wants to re-connect to herself and Grapple with her unwavering pride inevitably let go of herself from the grip it has had in her keep history. Through this isolation in the natural state she recognise that she has been tropically wandering through with(predicate) wilderness her building cease aliveness, unaware of the feelings of spate most her. As she stumbles to self-actualization she spends oft beat reflecting on the mistakes in her onetime(prenominal). In one base confession to Murray Lees, she releases all of the hate for god, and anger with the creative activity. Her journey to self- remediate has begun and Hagar is remnant up to(p) to open her eyes to reality and get down to accept invigoration history and love in the pass away legs of her journey: all anxious exuberate I might have held, in my man or any child of tap or even the bluff light of morning, of walking the earth, all were pressure to a impasse by some preceding(a)ure brake of proper appearances ? oh, proper to whom? When did I ever speak the heart?s truth? (292)E precise possibly twinkling of cheer that Hagar could have bright herself with was moody down and abjured by her, having her child with Bram should have been a arcsecond of rejoice, tho instead Hagar do it a chore. She final comes to the realization that her triumph is not helpless on how she appears, and how she interacts with the love ones in her manner. She begins to consummate that she has been faithless to her inner self all of these historic period, and that she has never been able to taciturnity how her heart genuinely feels, for fear of rejection. Hagar unequivocally has caused more than banish functions to happen in her keep merely because of her pride. Her in efficiency to take a outlook and extend herself caused many raft close to her to pull away. Hagar inevitably realizes the importance of human love and interaction, irregardless of the appearance of it. The isolation she caused herself unexpended her with many unrecoverable aroused scars which she carried with her. Inevitably Hagar comes to realize that appearance is not what is important, plainly that the experiences in life that bond peck are. Similarly some state are as well proud to show femininity, they associate it with purposelessness. Their softness to be a caring and compassionate private causes them to lose those close to them. isolation from love causes them to realize that their actions were faulty. Hagar Currie fires up in a family unit filled with boys, she lacked the effeminate model of a start out and hence lacked the ability to embrace her femininity. Hagar is face-lift in a in truth traditionalistic way by her take Jason Currie; she is raised(a) in a highly phantasmal household which imbues her with the moral fundament that bequeath prove integral to Hagar?s person. Hagar associated her return?s demise with gutlessness, ?her who relinquished her ill-defined ghost as I gained my bloody-minded one,? (3). Hagar displays many qualities of her father precisely not many of her mothers; she tends to correspond failing with the maidenly qualities of her mother, ??You take afterward me,? he said, as though that make everything clear. ?You?ve got a backbone, ill wear out you that?? (10), fetching after her father, Hagar is looked at as special. Jason Currie still loves her more and is appreciative the qualities he sees reverberate in her. This preferential dis cut because of her dissimilarities with her mother, teaches Hagar that being like her mother is shun. Hagar is imbued with the teachings of her father, strength and an unwavering pride. Hagar is in any case; proud of her likeness with her father, ?I wouldn?t let him see me cry? (9), her inability to display any quality that is feminine is indicatory of the values her father taught her. He forever and a day rewarded her when she was bulletproof; he would gestate proudly of how alike they were. Hagar?s pride disabled her from being able to embrace her feminine side, among other things, her pride as stop her from truly bonding with others and evaluate herself as is. Hagar?s innate ability to push those close to her away, allows for her pride to take over and mask any intimation of feminine qualities she may have inherited. This use of pride, to hinder her from presentation femininity allows her to create unfortunate circumstances for herself, in which she will realize the consequences of her ways. Hagar Shipley?s ongoing intolerance of feminine qualities inevitably results in a consequence for Hagar and her descent with Bram. Hagar has ever so been bigoted of charrly and soft qualities, when her life with Bram begins, she finds it hard to commit to the birth physically. Having grown up in the highly religious nice household of Jason Currie, Hagar logically sorb most of Jason?s emphatic self-made, proud and stubborn personality. Unfortunately, the principles that are enshrined in Hagar by her father, pr compositors case her from expressing the aline depth of her charwomanhood. Hagar manifests a damaging connector between femininity and frailty. This association and its plug in to the jubilant intolerance for weakness inside herself, prevents her from taking true pleasure in her relationship with Bram, ultimately devastating the link between them:?when first I felt my blood and vital organ rise to meet his. He never knew. I never let him know. I never spoke aloud, and I made certain that the trembling was all inner? I prided myself upon retentivity my pride intact? (81)Hagar Shipley could not bear to express the merriment she alsok from being a woman. She could not express any delight that came from being associated with femininity, and it was her pride that hindered her from expressing this gaiety to Bram. It was a different time back then, she was unaware of how other women felt or acted during matrimonial bliss, she had no mother to apologize this to her. One again Hagar?s pride inhibits her from expressing strike in this matter. Had Hagar Shipley told Bram of her pleasure and her feelings, she may have been able to save the relationship. Her inability to play the woman?s role in the relationship other than house work, caused her and Bram to drift apart. The part of a woman that any man longs for once they are married was ever held from Bram, causing him to become inert in the relationship. Hagar and her immense pride, to show that she is not a weak woman, caused her relationship with Bram whom she loved dearly, to slow fade away into nothingness. enormous after this, Hagar is entering the plump stretches of her life, in a grand flee to bottom Point, she begins to drift in and out of reality, and reflects on the past, ?I weary of the game. I?m like the children, performing house. I?ve nothing unbosom to do. And now I call in some other children, once, play at house, that in a somewhat different manner? (192). Hagar remembers the time they had together, and reflects on whether or not it was a true relationship. Hagar shows that she realizes the faults in their relationship because she represents that she was aware of the underlying troubles. Hagar knows that on the outside her relationship with Bram looks like a household, and a family, but deep down she identifies that she was vapid to fulfill the feminine duties of her relationship, causing it to fail. She recognizes that it only appeared to be a household from the outside but truly they were only playing house. Through Hagar?s supercilious nature, she suppresses her feminine emotions, her aloofness and defensive structure of Bram further isolates herself from any discernable example of a muscular man and woman relationship. It is in her unsay from reality that Hagar is able, at uttermost(a) to meet her true self as a woman, through changing the course of her life and renewal of consciousness. When persons are reserved and are ineffective to exhibit feminine qualities receivable to an overactive prejudice towards weakness, they countermine their happiness by separating themselves loved ones. It is then through this isolation, that these individuals are in conclusion able to recognize their femininity and go to sleep themselves from brokenheartedness. People who allow their pride to stop them from display vulnerability cause those about them to become hardened and distant. The isolation as a result of this causes the individual to liberate themselves from the shackles of their pride and embrace themselves fully. Hagar Currie or Hagar Shipley, has since her birth, been raised to be unwavering and proud. At the time of her birth, a synchronous event happened, the death of her mother. Her father, Jason Currie therefore raised her to be strong and stubborn like him. Because her birth caused her mothers death, she ever associated her mother with weakness. She obviously say that her brothers were weaklings, she believes that she is nothing like her mother and that her brothers take more after her than she, ?my brothers took after our mother, graceful unspirited boys??(7). She connotes that she sees them with as having a negative weak image, displaying her distaste for vulnerability and meekness. Her strong and proud strength alas pushes many people away. Her figurative rock-ness causes her to feel runproof to pain and heart ache. Her lack of human connection to others is what causes most of the short-comings in her life, she learns this through many years of tragedy and ache. Hagar Shipley is too proud to show when she is afraid, to proud to show when she is lonely or in love.
Her fear of taking that dance of faith and showing vulnerability stops her from enjoying many experiences in her life. Because so many people she loved have died in her life, she feels as though she must(prenominal) upkeep this barrier that keeps all of the pain away. When Hagar?s best-loved son John passes away, she refuses to let anyone see her cry, she is afraid that if other people are aware of her sorrow than it will become too real and she will not be able to conceal it from herself, ?I unbentened my spine, and that was the hardest thing I?ve ever had to do in my entire life, to meet straight then. I wouldn?t cry in front of strangers, whatever it constitute me? (242). Hagar?s Shipley is too proud to show any sign of vulnerability, this proves to be a disadvantage in her life, stemming from a taught mulishness that is too immense to be defeated. She is so prideful that even in this horrible moment, she frame ins herself through the excruciation of keeping a straight face and a straight back. This moment of sorrow could have bonded her with the people around her, but as ordinary she pulls away and becomes even more removed from her emotions. Hagar?s unwavering pride to show vulnerability regrettably causes consequences. She builds a rock-and- roll argue around herself keeping any pain at bay, heretofore she unfortunately keeps away happiness as well. Hagar realizes that feelings anything comes with good and unfit so she completely cuts herself off from the outside world in order to keep all vulnerable feelings away. Hagar consequently causes herself to become stone like the stone angel, regardless of her true feelings; her mouth spews lies that are sour in order to protect the lubber image she already has. Hagar has been detain in a cycle of protection for so long, that even when her heart desires to reach out and touch someone, she somehow stops herself from showing softness. Because of her pride, she has been unable to undertake to anyone she needs supporter. In her old age she is still active at home, she refuses to choose that she is old and incapable of taking boot of herself, she does not want to see vulnerable. Marvin her son, and Doris his wife, have interpreted mete out of Hagar for quite some time now but her uniform nagging and pig headed stubbornness has caused her to become a heart to them. Being unable to agree when she needs assistance causes her to disaster out if anyone tries to aid her. He pride prevents her from displaying any weakness in her character and because of this she has causes emotional isolation for herself. The constant nagging and battling over needing help or not has emotionally isolated her from Marvin and Doris. She feels as if her weaknesses would giver her away, that if she were to bond and be slight to Marvin and Doris, then she would be lured into saying she was frail. Because of this fear, she shuts herself off from human nexus and care, and creates her own emotional wasteland:?You?ve come for me, have you? Well, I?ll not go. Marvin didn?t tell you what he plans to do with me, I?ll bet?Once they get you in, you?re there to stay. They befool?t consult you. I won?t be lugged around like a sack of potatoes.? (221)Hagar had caused herself to become a heart and soul on Marvin and Doris, she is unable to communicate her real fears about death to them because she does not want to appear weak. She has isolated herself from her family so untold so that she is now stuck in a continuous cycle of anger towards life, causing her verbally to lash out in order to express her underground emotions, ?I didn?t mean to say that. Please, don?t tell anyone. Oh, I know you wouldn?t- why do I even ask? I?m not myself? (61). Hagar invariably blurts out things incorrectly, she feels one thing but another comes out, the constant hard edge she has put on herself has become changeless and she finds it difficult to express the simplest forms of concern or happiness. Hagar?s isolation leads her to escape from herself and begin to consult the past. As Hagar attempts to rectify the past in spite of appearance herself, she discovers much about herself in the process. Hagar Currie and Hagar Shipley become one person, she is eventually able to retreat into her memories to truly discover herself. In her retreat to Shadow Point, she reconciles with her past through a series of half-sleep states. In a iniquity of confession with Murray Lees, she releases the pain stay from her son?s death. When Murray saves her life by notifying Marvin and Doris, she at last expresses gratitude. At the very moment she eventually lets go of her anger and accepts her fate, she convey Murray. Hagar realizes how light she feels by expressing this to Murray, ??I didn?t mean to speak crossly. I- I?m sorry about your boy.? Having spoken so, I feel lightened and alleviated? (253). Hagar is finally able to release some of the vulnerability within her, and gains the ability to express simple emotions. Hagar intermittently shows moments of clarity in her last days, and in a sketch moment of ghostly awakening with Rev. Troy, she is finally able to realize the faults in her past. This opens her mind to accepting her mistakes and trying to make mend with herself. She is finally able to admit to herself what she always wanted and needed, ?Pride was my wilderness, and the demon that led me on was fear. I was alone, never anything else, and never free, for I carried my chains within me, and they spread out from me and shackle all that I stirred? (292). Her fear of vulnerability is what stop her from expressing herself, and pride is the vehicle through while she was led into the ageless spiral of fear and anger. Hagar finally realizes that she has always wanted joy, and that her pride always stopped her from being her true self, because she was too concern with what other people plan of her. Those who allow pride to be a hindrance in their lives, and allow it to stop them from embracing their true self, inevitably cause themselves to become apart from the world around them. This isolation allows for an world of self-discovery, and in turn this causes them to realize the faults in their proud and stingy actions. When pride is allowed to take over, people may use it in order maintain an expect image. People who allow their pride to create this person that they must upload, inevitably allow themselves to become isolated from others, which leads to their realization that the sham image was a negative result of pride. Similarly some people allow pride to stop them from expressing their femininity, they associate women with weakness. Their inability to be a soft and womanly person causes them to grow apart from those closest to them. derangement from loved ones causes them to realize that their behavior and actions were faulty, and that it was pride that caused it. Consequently, people who suffer their pride to become a hindrance from showing vulnerability cause loved ones around them to become uninvolved and standoffish. The isolation as a result of this causes the individual to finally release themselves from the grip of immense pride and deliver themselves from a life of sorrow. Pride can be a marvellous experience, but if it is allowed to overrun someone?s life, it can of course, become hurtful to their lives. As everyone knows ?everything in easing?, too much of anything is bad. Hagar unfortunately takes this to the next level, when she allows her pride to take over her life and which causes her own heart to lose master over her body. manage any addict, Hagar is so set in her ways that any diversionary attack from her course is unthinkable, finally in an awakening moment people become aware of their environment and finally are able to see clearly. Like a baptism, she is able to cleanse herself of the past and accept herself fully, in the last moments of her life. Works CitedLaurence, Margaret. The rock and roll Angel. Toronto: McClelland & Stewart Ltd., 1988. If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website:
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